Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
