this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
