my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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