Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
