You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
