Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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