So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
she looked like the before picture.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
