Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
