Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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