did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
