I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
