Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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