I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize