last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
