It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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