So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
