In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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