What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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