Please don't use social media to get back at me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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