tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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