I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
