that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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