I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
