My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize