Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
