i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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