my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize