Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
