My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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