i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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