I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
