Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
