It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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