Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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