Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
