My hair reeks of homosexuality.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
