I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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