i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
