thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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