he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
