fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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