If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
