I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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