Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
