Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
