some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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