No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
