I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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