It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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