It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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