So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize