how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
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Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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