woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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