I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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