this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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