The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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