no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize