I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
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Hippo gnu deer
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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