I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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