I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
