Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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