There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
